Loving You Bridesmaid S

When I started my blog, my initial intention was to blog several times a week, and continuously blog about my wedding adventures as they occurred. Unfortunately a family tragedy in the beginning of September hindered those plans and made me take a step back and re-exam my entire life.

This post does not exactly have to do with wedding planning, but it does have to deal with the unpredictability that we call life, and how sometimes life can quickly change all of our plans or predisposed ideas regarding how things should be.

It's difficult for me to write this, because I'm not sure how exactly I should, but I'm going to do my best.

On September 5th, a Saturday night, my mom called me from Wisconsin at about 1:30 am which was unusual. So when I picked up the phone and asked if everything was ok and she said no, my heart immediately sank. And when she told me that my cousin S, my friend, my bridesmaid had been stabbed to death, I felt a pain and a sadness that I have never felt before. My heart physically hurt, I didn't know what I should do, I couldn't function. I won't give a detailed account of the events that occurred, mainly because they are still too painful. However, I will say that on Saturday, sometime around 10pm bridesmaid S was sitting in her car, where she was stabbed several dozen times by her ex-boyfriend. She was pronounced dead at the scene and her ex-boyfriend is currently in jail, awaiting trial.

At 2 in the morning I was trying to pack a bag, trying to convince Mr. Pearl that we needed to pack up ourselves and our two furry children, and make the 5 hour drive to Wisconsin. However, my mom had given him specific orders not to come home tonight, to wait until morning. So I cleaned the house, I cleaned and then I cried and then the cycle would begin again. At 5 am Mr. Pearl and I were finally able to lay down and sleep for a few restless hours.

Out of sheer luck I happened to have the coming week off from work, so I packed, and early Sunday afternoon we left for Wisconsin. Mr. Pearl would have to go home on Tuesday but I would be staying with my mom and sister until the following Sunday when soon-to-be mother in-law Pearl would be driving me back to Minneapolis.

The week was followed by unanswered questions and sadness and anger, along with reassuring hugs from family and friends. Even though I knew how much pain I was feeling I couldn't even begin to put myself in the shoes of my Auntie D and my cousin N and bridesmaid K, bridesmaid S's brother and sister. We all tried to support each other, we pulled together, shared memories and offered each other hugs and tried to encourage one another. We made ribbons with her favorite colors, pink and turquoise, and I prepared a speech for her funeral, something I never thought I would ever have to do.


Wedding planning was sent to the back burner as I no longer had a desire to go on planning my life, let alone my wedding, when I knew that her life was over, and that she would never have a wedding.

I am slowly finding my feet though, through the support of Mr. Pearl, my family and friends. I am just trying to get back into the groove, realizing that she would want me to continue going forward.

Everything that's happened has made me realize the importance of life. It's a constant reminder that what my bridesmaids wear, or what kind of cake is served, or whether or not it rains, doesn't matter. Mr. Pearl and I will simply be blessed to have one another, to have our family and our friends.

And each time I feel that bridezilla moment coming on, I remind myself that a) Bridesmaid S always told me it was ok to be a bridezilla and that b) there are so many more important things in life.

I invite all my fellow brides-to-be to remember this. Don't lose site of what your wedding is truly about, and make sure to cherish every single moment you have with your loved ones.

GUESS WHAT WAS IN THE MAIL?

We knew from the get- go that if we were going to save some money on the whole wedding thing we would have to do a lot of it on our own.

While I was never one of those girls who had been planning their wedding until childhood, I thought I had a few ideas about what I wanted, but I never imagined that I would be a DIY bride.

I've always been crafty, and knew that I might be able to pull off a few DIY projects So once we had decided on a lime theme, I immediately started searching for invites. I doubt that this is the first thing I should have been doing, but it seemed logical to me. I knew from the beginning that it would be nearly impossible to find anything that would fit in with our somewhat unique theme. So after seeing some fantastic invites from the now Mrs. Gloss on Weddingbee, I knew that I would be making my own.

My immediate idea was that I could use stamps to hand stamp my invites.

I set to work, searching online for the perfect lime stamp and was very frustrated at what the darn internet had to offer me. One of my faults is that when I come up with an idea, I won't settle for less, even if what I'm looking for doesn't exist :P

After a couple weeks of searching though, I found the perfect stamp that I just had to have, hand carved and custom made by drumchick99 of Etsy. I fell in love and it was exactly what I was looking for. My plan is to somehow incorporate this design throughout the wedding stationary, and the wedding itself. All the while hopefully avoiding that tackiness that sometimes occurs when things are too "theme-y".

I'm so excited to start using my stamp and see what I come up with! I'll keep you updated.

What was the one thing that you absolutely could not wait for? You know that one thing that made you realize that you COULD pull a wedding together?

Relationship Series: Spouses Profession

Is your SO’s profession in line with what you thought his/her profession would be?

I honestly never considered what my spouses profession might be. I just wanted to be with someone who was motivated to be successful in life, just as I am. Even though Mr. Pearl is just starting his profession, I know that he's going places.

I'm proud of you Mr. Pearl! MUAH

Simply Sub-LIME: The Venue

Almost immediately after Mr. Pearl proposed we were on the hunt for the perfect venue. Well actually our wedding planner was, and we were helping by sending random inspiration photos with no common thread that probably confused J (our wedding planner) to no end.

Quick tangent: We decided to hire a wedding planner because I was not confident that I could work full time, complete a full time internship, go to school full time and plan a wedding from 5 hours away. So far, I'm happy that we did decide to hire a helper. While Mr. Pearl and I both want to be very involved in the planning process (or I've convinced him he wants to be involved) it's nice to know that we have some help. It's especially nice to have someone to work with vendors, since I usually just go with the flow whether it's what I actually want or not. :P

Ok, back to the point of this post. I knew that for the ceremony I wanted something outdoors, gardenesque, or near the water, or in barn, or the list could just keep going. Mr. Pearl knew that no matter what, he wanted to be near the water, and that was all. We really didnt' care about the inside, just something that was neutral and newer.

J pulled through and found us theeee perfect venue. It was outdoors in a garden type scenery, overlooking Lake Michigan. The price was reasonable, within our budget and I loved that we could have the ceremoney outdoors, the cocktail hour on the patio, and then open the doors and send our guests in for dinner. In fact, while we did a lot of our research online, the venue we chose was the first and only that we saw in person. Quick and easy, just the way we like it!

OKKK.... I'm going to have to ask you to use your imagination. I apparently failed to take even semi decent pictures, because these don't even do it any justice.

You could basically say that both Mr. Pearl and I are very excited to see everything come together!

Did it take you long to find your venue? What was the determining factor?

Introducing our FUR BABIES

It is probably important to let you know who Maverick and Kit are since I will probably mention them quite often. See, we have two little babies, and they are the loves of our life.


That little peanut is Maverick when we first brought him home this past August. While he is still that cute, he is not that small, and we now lovingly refer to him as Mav the Moose.



Our other fur baby is Kit. He is a 2 year old Maine Coon. He came into our lives when our Best Man, Mr. Pearls brother, found a little 4 week old kitten laying outside of his apartment building. He had a bite on his neck, and really wasn't expected to live. But he did, and here he is! He may look like a little fatty, but really he's alllll fur.

We love our babies so much!